All Good Things Must Come to an End...or Not?

I distinctly remember writing about my first 90 days here, and as crazy as it seems…now I will be writing about my last. Hard to believe the time has come when I will be saying goodbye to living in Africa. It has been almost 2 years living abroad. I should rephrase that somehow. It has been SO much more than just ‘living’….so much more.

For those of you who kept up with my blog, I know it has big gaps. Unfortunately, Youssef, who I began dating shortly after coming here, did not want to be a part of it, as he is very private. The more time I spent with him, the more I experienced and couldn’t write in detail (as I had hoped). He thought no one read it. Silly him! I had to respect his privacy but put in a few highlights…getting engaged…and then married! Even before marrying a Moroccan, and him an American girl, has led us in many cultural debates. We had to come to understand each other’s point of view, and (if not fully understand) respect it, on many different topics. It has made us not only appreciate one another’s culture, but each of us learning different things. I loved it all! And I know he did too! 

So as far as this story goes….first came marriage, and then came baby!!!! 

I have never been pregnant, never really tried….but always wanted children.

As the years passed, and relationships came and went, I simply thought it wasn’t supposed to happen for me. I thought maybe being a teacher was what my calling was, and I was ok with that.

Before coming abroad, I released the idea of motherhood altogether to the universe. However, the idea of family doesn’t leave you that easily, especially when you grow up in a huge one. 

After our marriage, Youssef and I began to try, but given my age, I really had my doubts. We scheduled an appointment with an adoption lawyer here in Morocco and were approved to adopt within 6-12 months. Wow! That’s it! We would be a family after all. Girls were harder to adopt and were generally given to Muslim women as first priority. That’s ok, boys are cute right?!

We were told we could get a boy with no problems.  “Sounds great”….”how do we get started I asked?” Youssef immediately told the guy that we were still trying and not giving out hope. Fair enough I thought….even though I researched the percentages of a natural conception....poor guy is an optimist. lol

Well…low and behold….after only 4 months of trying, we found out the day after Thanksgiving, and just 3 days after meeting with the lawyer that indeed WE were expecting! I could hardly believe it! Holy crap, my body still works after all! Hooray! Hamdollah! As Youssef said. It means “thank you God”

It has been just over 5 months now and everyone back home is thrilled.

Crazy Aunt Nina is having her very own baby!

The sex will be confirmed in the next 2 weeks…I thought girl from the start, but honestly don’t have a preference. Healthy and happy is all we ask for. I was not so keen on spending the majority of my pregnancy here not being able to communicate the way I want to, and have access to the best prenatal medicine if something were to go wrong….but….I don’t have a choice.

All is good so far, and any additional blood work I have asked for was sent to France. It really has been interesting in itself this whole process. 

Genetic testing is against the culture here and therefore not done. Being American, I asked for the testing, and was allowed to get it, but not without a million papers to sign and again more blood being shipped to France. Reading the results has been another frustration, but have gotten used to it over the last year and a half. Thank goodness for Youssef and Google. I did pick an OB who speaks English and very sweet, but it’s just not the same. Please keep us in good thoughts as I plan to leave at 30 weeks of pregnancy. The doctors have suggested 25 weeks but I would like to finish as much as my contract as possible, and wait for Youssef to get his spousal Visa approved so we can come as a family. Sammi and Finster too of course. :) 

Lots and lots of 'stuff' have happened over my time spent here. Since I won’t be able to catch up on all that I missed I plan to document in photographs the last 100 days.

My plan is to photograph not the necessarily things that I will miss….but the things that have become a part of my life during this time; some good, some not.

My next blog will be the beginning part of the 100 things I’ve grown to love and not love about Morocco, in photographs and captions.

Walking into 5 star hotels as if I have a room there and chilling for bit, was lots of fun.

Eating food other than Moroccan was always a highlight for me! Indian anyone? Yummy!

So I don't believe all good things come to an end....they just change into different things. My journey home as a wife and mother to be will be just the beginning of the next phase...the next phase of "good" things!!! 

~Mindful in Morocco

Year 2~ Living like a local and a Mrs.!!!

I know, I know….

I have not kept up with my blog and a ridiculous amount has happened.

I am a year older, hopefully wiser, and a married woman! Who would have thunk it? 

Not me. But before I left the country, several people guessed that I would meet my prince. While grateful for their good intentions, I simply shook it off and smiled. It was the furthest thing from my mind. 

More specifically as you know, after having 2 ankle surgeries and having to heal here, my main focus was doing my job at school and finding a decent physical therapist for the first 6 months. Maybe, maybe, going on a date or two, but that's it. 

What a difference a year makes. I am still blown away at where I was a year ago first coming to this country. SO much uncertainty. So much excitement, and the unknown ahead was both scary yet intriguing. 

September 18th- Woke up to take the dogs out 6am, and found this on my apartment door.

Some of my colleagues here have become like family…its a wonderful feeling. 

I have an assistant this year and was surprised by this delectable cake! 

 Students from last year, now 5th graders, arrived at my door with flowers from their garden. Such a sweet surprise.

 My balcony has become a place to retreat to after work. It didn't occur to me until afterwards….how am I getting this adorable set home!? I will manage. :)

 Youssef and his cousin are ready for couscous wouldn't you say? I confess. I am not a big fan of it. I have tried it many times, even in the states. I think it's a texture thing. lol
AND, true be told, as much as I am trying to embrace the customs here, I just find it somewhat messy to be eating this with your hands! Yes, everyone sits around the same plate and everyone puts their hand in the dish. They actually toss it around in their palm and somehow make a ball with it! For the most part I ask Youssef to tell his family, I do not want to have a separate plate. I want to eat like a Moroccan….except for this dish. I ask for a fork. :) I still have a hard time with everyone digging their hands in the same dish.

The Bride to Be gets her henna:

 I know I am skipping around, but my pics are organized by months. So this blog is for September and will blog with pics later about how I ended up becoming a bride. :)
Anyways here I am, 3 days before being married. It is traditional for women to get henna done on their hands and feet. This was done at Youssef's parents house. The whole process takes about one hour and it lasts anywhere from 1-3 weeks.

So, I have been living in an Arab country for just over a year. No, I can not speak the language but can actually speak more Arabic words than French words. Again, I would have never believed that one!
During the evening everyone was speaking except me, naturally, and something I have gotten used to. What I do do, is try and listen. I read body language and listen to the tones of the voices.

I looked at Youssef and said "this woman speaks very fast and differently than you." With that he must have told the woman, and she then told him she was from the Sahara. Wow! I picked up an accent! I may not understand the Arabic, but I can hear that it's different!
This happened one other time. One of the administrators from school was speaking and I also could tell he sounded different than Youssef. When I asked why, he said he was from Rabat, a city in the north. They have a countryside accent. I'm pretty impressed with myself. :) Arabic is an extremely difficult language and I still can not make some of the sounds. Rather frustrating really. Anytime I do speak though, the smiles on the people's faces is well worth the effort, even if I think I sound ridiculous.

This is a traditional Saharan design.

 The day after this was done, Youssef and I were at the butcher and the woman behind the counter smiled and pointed to my henna. "Mzen"…..means beautiful. She immediately recognized it was a Saharan design from the index finger.

Walking up the steps not to church, but to sign the wedding contract with the Adool. 

 September 26th Wedding Day!

I will speak about and post pics about how mixed marriages work here. Rather complex and an adventure in itself.

 The Adool is the man in the picture. He is the one that actually marries you. There are no vows and we did not exchange rings here. There is no reading from the Quran, no strange traditions other than a dowry, and things went rather smooth on that day. We had been through so much already, I was grateful for the simplicity.

 Since I did not have family and friends from back home here with me, I asked two of my closest friends here to be witnesses. I needed someone American for moral support. I also needed a translator. Youssef had one of his friends do it who has a Masters in English. I needed to know what I was signing since I could no read it, nor understand what they were saying. No, I did not convert, nor did I sign anything other than what we would sign in NY. I asked lots of questions before hand and his family was very supportive to the both of us. :)

I took this while waiting to sign the papers. Something about this window and vase drew me in. 

 What I did have to sign was that I received a dowery. That is part of the religion here.
Here is what it means:

The Mahr (Dowry)

The mahr (dowry) is something that is paid by the man to his wife. It is paid to the wife and to her only as an honor and a respect given to her and to show that he has a serious desire to marry her and is not simply entering into the marriage contract without any sense of responsibility and obligation or effort on his part.

One of the more common names for it is Al-Sadaq which comes from the word sidq meaning honesty or sincerity. As-San'ani (Book: Subul As-Salaam) explains its significance: "It indicates the sincerity of the husband's desire for his wife. In the religious laws before us the dowry used to go to the guardians."

 It was a beautiful sunset on this day as we headed back for a small celebration. Really as most days here in Marrakech. The sun is so inviting and warm. This time, I felt warm in my soul. I left the Medina a married woman. I felt the same. I was happy. I am happy. I knew in my heart that HE is the one, and spending my life with him, where ever we are is OK, because we are doing it together. :) 

 There was no "you may kiss the bride"…showing affection in public is frowned upon, especially in front of family. But how could I leave without a kiss? Yes, I'm a little stuck in what my culture conditions us to do.
Soooo….we waited for his father to walk ahead, and my friend snapped this shot. I simply love it!
It's so sincere to me.

 We headed back to my apartment (which Youssef now gets to live with me). Again, culture does not allow a man and a woman to live together without being married. We had a small party of 20. Youssef and I both cooked and had the rest catered with Morccan food. I did not dare attempt to make it with all his family there. Besides, they Love my pasta with meat sauce! lol
We will have a big party in the next few months.

 Some of his family and friends, and us wearing traditional clothing that his parents bought for me.
Ring ceremony was done at the house. We exchanged cups of milk and fed each other dates. That is tradition as the women chant and holler. It was pretty cool.

I do.
I did it.
I Never, Ever expected it….
But couldn't deny what my heart felt.
I feel more than blessed to have a chance at marriage again. I found someone who is so amazing and know in my heart that I was offered a job on this continent, this country, and this school for a reason.
I know my angle sister Julie has been watching, waiting, and orchestrating the perfect time for all the stars to have lined up to help her older sis. :)

This has been a fantastic year learning about myself, and continually immersing myself in a culture so different than my own. I am grateful to have Youssef to show me so much. Much more than the eyes could see. I look forward to living this year as a local and a Mrs. <3

Always keeping ~Mindful in Morocco

2 Dog Attacks- 1 Dead Body- Caftan Shopping- Other Random Stuff

Dog Attack-#1

While taking a weekend get away in May, I had a house sitter come to watch Sammi and Finster. I joined a website called Trustedhousesitters.com. What a great thing! Go feed Fido in Greece and stay in their house for free! So many people want to come and see Morocco, but I needed to be very selective. I found an older woman from New Zealand come to watch my dogs for 4 days. As you can imagine I was nervous as all hell. Having my ex-husband crap out on helping me take care of our dogs has left me in a tough predicament. Anyhow…she contacted me everyday and told me things were going ok. I felt relieved and tried to enjoy my time.

I came home and saw 2 scabs on Sammi. What happened I asked?

She told me just yesterday a stray black dog came out of no where and attacked him!

WTF??? Are you serious? She said she was completely startled, naturally, and picked him up by his collar in an effort to save him. Holy Crap!

So off to the vet for an emergency vet visit we go! Not a fun way to come back from a vaca but glad he was ok. Two shots, 10 days of antibiotics and 1,000 Dirhams later…I know it wasn’t her fault but Sammi recovered just fine.

one of his puncture wounds...

It sorta looks like the doc is giving Youssef a shot in the butt! Ha! 

Blue antibiotic spray…
the font and back teeth both punctured poor lil Sammi! 

Dog Attack-#2

This time I was with the dogs! Youssef, another friend, and I were walking the dogs near the apartment as we normally do. In the distance I see a dog chained to a big boulder. I immediately said to Youssef (who was walking Finster) 'pick up the dog.'

Next thing you know the dog comes charging towards us! “Youssef pick up the dog”…3x now… ”YOUSSEF PICK UP THE FREAKING DOG!!!!”….Good Lord, for some reason he never did. As we have discussed many times after the incident, he claims that he was trying to talk to the owner (and all I see is the dog running towards us, boulder, chain, and all!). And to no fault of his….everything really happened SO fast. Obviously, I have encountered similar situations over the years, and my first instinct is to scoop them both up as they weigh 25 pounds in total. 

Anyway what happened next was really quite a scene. The dog came CHARGING at Finster and at the last minute Youssef did pick up the dog, but by his collar around his neck in an effort to save him. Next thing you know, the leash snapped!
Now leaving Finster on the ground with this massive dog on top of him. Holy freaking crap!!!…I was screaming! “Get my dog!!!””…GET MY DOG!!!!...and because I became mother bear, I got tangled into the mess, not caring about my body and what was happening.
Youssef also went into crazy mode and was kicking the dog and trying to pull the dog off Finster.

As this was happening, I suddenly realized the dog had a muzzle on!!!! And although his body and mouth were on top of Finster he wasn’t actually biting him! The sounds were terrifying enough though! After what seemed liked an eternity, Finster was free! My God!!!!

I began walking away (btw, I was holding Sammi in my arms this entire time) don't ask how.
And then felt pain set in, in different places all over my body.

PS- I looked down to see what it was, and low and behold, I was a mess. After analyzing all the wounds, and speaking to Youssef about what the hell just happened we think some of the wounds were caused by him (not on purpose of course)! OMG…I was standing behind him and may have sustained some of his back jabs!
I think the blood was from scrapping my knees in the street…who knows!
We sorta chuckled at the whole thing as he kept asking 'what the heck was I doing Behind him?'
He kept saying, you didn't let "me" handle it. I kept insisting, that instinct took over, and then needed to explain to him the term "mother bear"….omg.
Only me. lol

This was def from Youssef…poor guy felt TERRIBLE about it.

I didn't even feel it as it was happening! 

Care Packages are the best!
I know its all American crap….but when you can't get it….something makes you want it.
I actually have NEVER had Ramen noodles…hmmmmm….lol

Spirit Week!
Friday was 'dress in traditional clothing'….they are so cute!

Me in my gandora. 

The gandora was given to me as a gift from Youssef's father upon meeting him. Shocked, surprised, and grateful to have received it. :)

The gandora like the Djellaba is a traditional Moroccan robe.The differance being the Gandora has no hood and short sleeves.

Youssef is wearing a robe you usually see men in the Sahara wear, head scarf included to protect from the sun. 

Getting artsy on the terrace…

What I love about the city is all the fresh fruit you find in the streets! Taste before you buy, is no problem, and mostly encouraged! The green things are figs. I have never had them fresh like that. Usually they were dried. Actually….now that I think of it…I never even seen a fresh fig before. :) For a whole bag it cost like 50 cents!

No 7-Elevens…
Fresh fruit stop on the way to work.

Is he really getting an apple for the teacher? Awww….

Yeah!!! My hammock arrived! Holy Smokes! This thing is SO comfortable! Its a double….and someone is inside already.

 Good times at the end of the year. I became very good friends with the French teacher…and look forward to more trips to Paris to see her. Sometimes its hard to connect with people…but when you do…..you know the friendship will be forever lasting!

Did I mention he's a great dancer? :)

Ok, the dead body story….

For as long as I can remember, whenever I see a bag in the road I think of a dead body. Don't know why…I just do.

Soooo…One day while driving in the car with Youssef on the way to work, I see a bag.
Ummm…"Youssef what's coming up in the road?"
He barely replies as he is driving.
Of course he is also unaware of my 'dead body in the bag' fear.

As we get closer and closer and closer….I see a foot hanging out and start to scream.
"PULL OVER AND CALL THE COPS!!!"
He is like, what are you talking about????
I rambled quickly, that my whole life I have thought, that one day I would see a body in the bag and here it IS!!!
Again, he has no idea what I am saying as I am talking a mile a minute.
I asked him to turn around and go peek at the bag. 
Hellzzz no…I wasn't getting out!

After we laughed and confirmed that I am making HIM go look at the body….
He reported back that it was some kind of animal.
What?
Who would do such a thing? Are you sure?
"Tell me what you saw"….Give me details….lol
This picture was taken months later as I could barely go near it. 
I still don't know what it is….and grateful its not human. 
I always knew that I was not cut out to be a CSI agent. This confirmed it. 


Time for a wedding! (Not mine) lol

Youssef has an identical twin brother who is getting married in the beginning of August. I feel honored to have been invited to this special event. A real Moroccan wedding! Wow! 

"You have to get a special dress" he says.

Ummm…..like what?

A caftan of course. 

What's a caftan?

It's fancier than a gandora. 

We went shopping and truth be told I sorta felt silly in these dresses.

While they are beautiful in style and color….it made me feel like I was in a costume for Halloween.

Oh man….do I have to wear one?

Muslim woman do NOT show their bodies off as American women do.

Lots of thoughts were going through my mind just in the thoughts alone, as to why American women dress, and show off so much.

Youssef and I have had numerous conversations on this and will take about another time. But in the end, I feel he is right. It was really quite startling to me as I have never seen it from his point of view. Naturally living my whole life in the US, why would I. 

Anyway…I got the dress!

This is just the sleeve of it. It is really quite beautiful and enjoyed the hunt trying to find one that I felt happy and comfortable in.

I'm suppose to get henna done on my hands a day or two before the wedding.

Stay tuned….next I have to learn to dance like a Moroccan woman. :)

Reflection and Redirection

June in Morocco

I made it. I taught my first year abroad! Totally crazy how the time flew! This year has had SO many ups and downs both professionally and personally, it would take a long time to write about it…although a great book it would make! I’m giving the highlights and keeping it clean….damn there is so much I want to say!

I have often said if video cameras were at our school it would make for a fantastic, addicting reality show! Who is a not friend with who anymore, who’s sneaking around with you, who totally went off on the secretary for something that would be easily done in the states. (There were many who did this…including me.) She’s an idiot…sorry, that part is true. And let’s not forget the art teacher who slapped and cursed out the headmaster and was escorted off the property, and then shipped home. Yes, it’s true. I even saw his belongings outside the apartment building on the ground….I’m telling you, a money making reality show!

I suppose I would be part of it as well., ‘The NY teacher who’s now dating the head of admissions, a young Moroccan man’. I always say, you can’t help whom you fall in love with. And when it's right…it's right. 

Learned a lot is an understatement. For all of us who have just completed our first year, the good times were good, and the bad times were pretty bad. While people’s friendships have shifted and changed, we all seem to remain supportive to one another because we all at times feel a little lost, a little alone, and making our way in our now, new homes.

June is always a good month in my profession. It marks the end of the year. The kids are generally happy, and a bit wild. This did not change being overseas.  We had a field trip to Terre D'Amanar which was pretty exciting and scary for me. Zip lining? Sure, I’ll try it! 

http://www.terresdamanar.com

Swing my fat ass from tree to tree while dangling from the cables you say? Ah!
My students were so supportive as I screamed the whole way!

Equivalent to the black diamond course. Holy Shit! 

 Beautiful sights along the way~

Got a kick out of this sign...

Youssef and I have made more trips to the square and he continues to show me where to get the best of things. It also is a place you can’t help but whip out your camera. It is especially magical at sunset, my favorite time to go.

He insisted on me holding a snake…a very touristy thing to do…and we did it. 

No pics with the monkey…I think its cruel to have them on chains…I could barley look at it. 

This is the guy that sells cups of water to drink. Yes, its an old tradition that still exists here however I brought my own bottle. I just paid him for a pic. 

The water is kept cool in a pouch made of goat skin. A yummy flavor I'm sure. 

I actually have begun to know my way around the windy, twisty paths myself.

Amazing! Just 10 months ago I thought I would never get out alive once entering the maze of colors, textures, and bustle of the souks. Now it’s walk in the park. 

Come, let me show you where to get the best olives!

They let you taste before you buy….yum!

Good thing I love olives!

Fresh mint for your tea! 

Turn right at the mint shop, and left at the sheep head….

Will never try!

Our favorite potato and egg place! A must try sandwich when coming to Kesh.

Sammi and Finster are doing just fine! They quickly adapted to a routine we have developed and Finster as always, leads the way on and off the elevator.

They enjoy basking in the warm sun on the balcony. 

Sammi before grooming…my little matted rat. 

Crazy Finster wanting to get the hell outta there….after his much needed cut and blow.

There is a French woman who cuts them in her shop and simply adores them. I don't know what she is saying when I enter and exit, but I know they are well taken care of while getting their baths. The bad news is the price is about the same as in NY. Poodle up keep, is not cheap!

My lil Prince Sammi after his grooming. Youssef likes them better without the fluff. 

My 2 handsome dogs….love them to bits! Sammi always smiling for the camera. 

 We searched for the perfect platter for our tabletop while he did all the negotiating of course. I admire the amount of patience he has. Good God, the souks at night are crowded and smelly, and when he purposely walked me into a chicken coop area where birds are stuffed in cages like sardines in a can, I wanted to kill him!

Trying to get just the right size platter/table. 

Making the balcony a bit cozier with more Moroccan touches. 

Breakfast of champions on the terrace. 

Yeah for cycling! We did a ride around Marrakech for a fundraiser. Felt so great to be back on the bike!
I will be buying one in August.

A bunch of us entered in an amazing race type of scavenger hunt through a café we all frequent. The owner as I may have mentioned before is a native of Long Island, Wantagh I believe. She was a former teacher at ASM. She met and married a Moroccan and opened Café du Livre. A good time was had by all! 

Clue #1 will be given to you after you get a henna tattoo with the word Morocco.

Team picture! What a fun day! 

One of the things I do NOT like about Marrakech are the way the mules and donkeys look and are treated. I can't even write about it, it makes me sad. I learned there is an organization called SPANA to help these and other stray and mistreated animals.

https://spana.org/country/morocco

Anyway…I was told by an expat who now lives in Marrakech that if you tell the man that you are going to report him to the police if he doesn't treat his donkey well, that they actually listen.

Sooooo….one night while walking through the souks, I said something. Of course I did my acting out of a mule dying of thirst and then made Youssef tell them that I WORK for Spana! Well, wouldn't you know, the man immediately took off the donkeys harness and the thing in its mouth!!! 

The animal then turned and looked at me! Almost like saying thank you! I was going to cry! :(

I was thinking of getting a badge made of some sort. SPANA police…that's me!

I recently rescued a dog near my apartment that look like Shilo! Ugh….can't take it! 

I continue to embrace all that comes my way and throughly enjoyed having this experience.

Next year I asked to teach 3rd grade for several reasons and really look forward to a great year!

At least I know what to expect and not to expect!

So for now, reflection and relaxation in the summertime!

Bring on the fun!

:)