Year 2~ Living like a local and a Mrs.!!!

I know, I know….

I have not kept up with my blog and a ridiculous amount has happened.

I am a year older, hopefully wiser, and a married woman! Who would have thunk it? 

Not me. But before I left the country, several people guessed that I would meet my prince. While grateful for their good intentions, I simply shook it off and smiled. It was the furthest thing from my mind. 

More specifically as you know, after having 2 ankle surgeries and having to heal here, my main focus was doing my job at school and finding a decent physical therapist for the first 6 months. Maybe, maybe, going on a date or two, but that's it. 

What a difference a year makes. I am still blown away at where I was a year ago first coming to this country. SO much uncertainty. So much excitement, and the unknown ahead was both scary yet intriguing. 

September 18th- Woke up to take the dogs out 6am, and found this on my apartment door.

Some of my colleagues here have become like family…its a wonderful feeling. 

I have an assistant this year and was surprised by this delectable cake! 

 Students from last year, now 5th graders, arrived at my door with flowers from their garden. Such a sweet surprise.

 My balcony has become a place to retreat to after work. It didn't occur to me until afterwards….how am I getting this adorable set home!? I will manage. :)

 Youssef and his cousin are ready for couscous wouldn't you say? I confess. I am not a big fan of it. I have tried it many times, even in the states. I think it's a texture thing. lol
AND, true be told, as much as I am trying to embrace the customs here, I just find it somewhat messy to be eating this with your hands! Yes, everyone sits around the same plate and everyone puts their hand in the dish. They actually toss it around in their palm and somehow make a ball with it! For the most part I ask Youssef to tell his family, I do not want to have a separate plate. I want to eat like a Moroccan….except for this dish. I ask for a fork. :) I still have a hard time with everyone digging their hands in the same dish.

The Bride to Be gets her henna:

 I know I am skipping around, but my pics are organized by months. So this blog is for September and will blog with pics later about how I ended up becoming a bride. :)
Anyways here I am, 3 days before being married. It is traditional for women to get henna done on their hands and feet. This was done at Youssef's parents house. The whole process takes about one hour and it lasts anywhere from 1-3 weeks.

So, I have been living in an Arab country for just over a year. No, I can not speak the language but can actually speak more Arabic words than French words. Again, I would have never believed that one!
During the evening everyone was speaking except me, naturally, and something I have gotten used to. What I do do, is try and listen. I read body language and listen to the tones of the voices.

I looked at Youssef and said "this woman speaks very fast and differently than you." With that he must have told the woman, and she then told him she was from the Sahara. Wow! I picked up an accent! I may not understand the Arabic, but I can hear that it's different!
This happened one other time. One of the administrators from school was speaking and I also could tell he sounded different than Youssef. When I asked why, he said he was from Rabat, a city in the north. They have a countryside accent. I'm pretty impressed with myself. :) Arabic is an extremely difficult language and I still can not make some of the sounds. Rather frustrating really. Anytime I do speak though, the smiles on the people's faces is well worth the effort, even if I think I sound ridiculous.

This is a traditional Saharan design.

 The day after this was done, Youssef and I were at the butcher and the woman behind the counter smiled and pointed to my henna. "Mzen"…..means beautiful. She immediately recognized it was a Saharan design from the index finger.

Walking up the steps not to church, but to sign the wedding contract with the Adool. 

 September 26th Wedding Day!

I will speak about and post pics about how mixed marriages work here. Rather complex and an adventure in itself.

 The Adool is the man in the picture. He is the one that actually marries you. There are no vows and we did not exchange rings here. There is no reading from the Quran, no strange traditions other than a dowry, and things went rather smooth on that day. We had been through so much already, I was grateful for the simplicity.

 Since I did not have family and friends from back home here with me, I asked two of my closest friends here to be witnesses. I needed someone American for moral support. I also needed a translator. Youssef had one of his friends do it who has a Masters in English. I needed to know what I was signing since I could no read it, nor understand what they were saying. No, I did not convert, nor did I sign anything other than what we would sign in NY. I asked lots of questions before hand and his family was very supportive to the both of us. :)

I took this while waiting to sign the papers. Something about this window and vase drew me in. 

 What I did have to sign was that I received a dowery. That is part of the religion here.
Here is what it means:

The Mahr (Dowry)

The mahr (dowry) is something that is paid by the man to his wife. It is paid to the wife and to her only as an honor and a respect given to her and to show that he has a serious desire to marry her and is not simply entering into the marriage contract without any sense of responsibility and obligation or effort on his part.

One of the more common names for it is Al-Sadaq which comes from the word sidq meaning honesty or sincerity. As-San'ani (Book: Subul As-Salaam) explains its significance: "It indicates the sincerity of the husband's desire for his wife. In the religious laws before us the dowry used to go to the guardians."

 It was a beautiful sunset on this day as we headed back for a small celebration. Really as most days here in Marrakech. The sun is so inviting and warm. This time, I felt warm in my soul. I left the Medina a married woman. I felt the same. I was happy. I am happy. I knew in my heart that HE is the one, and spending my life with him, where ever we are is OK, because we are doing it together. :) 

 There was no "you may kiss the bride"…showing affection in public is frowned upon, especially in front of family. But how could I leave without a kiss? Yes, I'm a little stuck in what my culture conditions us to do.
Soooo….we waited for his father to walk ahead, and my friend snapped this shot. I simply love it!
It's so sincere to me.

 We headed back to my apartment (which Youssef now gets to live with me). Again, culture does not allow a man and a woman to live together without being married. We had a small party of 20. Youssef and I both cooked and had the rest catered with Morccan food. I did not dare attempt to make it with all his family there. Besides, they Love my pasta with meat sauce! lol
We will have a big party in the next few months.

 Some of his family and friends, and us wearing traditional clothing that his parents bought for me.
Ring ceremony was done at the house. We exchanged cups of milk and fed each other dates. That is tradition as the women chant and holler. It was pretty cool.

I do.
I did it.
I Never, Ever expected it….
But couldn't deny what my heart felt.
I feel more than blessed to have a chance at marriage again. I found someone who is so amazing and know in my heart that I was offered a job on this continent, this country, and this school for a reason.
I know my angle sister Julie has been watching, waiting, and orchestrating the perfect time for all the stars to have lined up to help her older sis. :)

This has been a fantastic year learning about myself, and continually immersing myself in a culture so different than my own. I am grateful to have Youssef to show me so much. Much more than the eyes could see. I look forward to living this year as a local and a Mrs. <3

Always keeping ~Mindful in Morocco