Echograhie, Chirurgie Plastique, and a Dermatologiste!

The week of March 10th:

This past week I had a sonogram, saw a plastic surgeon & had a consult with a surgical dermatologist.

I have a what?
It has to come out?
Did you say surgery?
How big is it?
It's Not the "c" word right?
Thank God
How do you know? Can you be certain?
Seriously?
WTF!!!!! :(

This past week has been a bit stressful. Actually so far the month of March has been. I'm just getting over a 2 week really bad cough-cold-sinus thing. The kind that throws you in a coughing fit every time you laugh, or even increase your walk pace by a mere few steps. In the beginning of the month I actually had my first bout of asthma that had seem to subside since arriving here.
I was even tempted to give my brand new inhalers away since I hadn't used them. And then…the body doesn't forget. :(
It knows what area is your weak area and strikes.

Anyway…I just found out I have a 7x7mm cyst in my chest (not breast thankfully) but right on the chest bone.
Freaking great! I had felt a bump…but I sometimes pretend things are not what they seem. (opposite of a hypochondriac) sometimes it works in my favor…in this case, not.
Once it became painful I knew something was wrong.
Thankfully we have insurance here, and while the system is a little wacky…there are some benefits.

Visiting all these doctors was a bit unnerving; but not speaking the language again, was my Biggest obstacle. :(  While laying on the table for the sonogram I could see the bump/tumor/cyst whatever you want to call it….I just knew it didn't belong there. I sat up immediately and pointed to the screen "I see it".
The man gently coaxed me to lay back down and spoke in French or Arabic….at this point I don't remember….I just remember seeing something that doesn't belong. Most times you have to wait for a radiologist to interpret the results….this time I could see the shit myself! Ah! Scary!

Thank Gosh I had company! Youssef did all the translating for me. He has been a great support and don't know what I would have done without him.

After calling NY and speaking with my doctors office there…I had to make some decisions.
Am I going home for this surgical procedure (mind you I don't have insurance in NY anymore) or do I stay here and have it done here?
Will they butcher me?
Do they know what they are doing?
Should I have it done in France?

In the meantime I was prescribed and took the same heavy duty antibiotics that I was on when I first arrived here after surgery. I took some pain relief meds and honestly can't believe I have to have a surgical procedure. Here in Morocco….of all places. I suppose it could be worse.
If I wait, and get it done next Xmas when I come home it might continue to grow….eek.

Ugh! After turning 40, I feel like I am falling apart! :(

In April I will know more and make a decision.
The unexpected continues.
I would not be telling the complete truth by not mentioning I have a parent who has been VERY helpful in getting me an appointment with the Best surgical dermatologist in Marrakech. The parents here at my school have many connections with the community and this sort of thing is still so new to me. I really feel like I am living in a movie at times.

For now, I must remain positive…mindful…in Morocco.

January Amendment

Two stories I forgot to include: just found in a word document

Missed the Damn Bus--Almost!

As most of us…I despise Monday mornings. I’m still getting used to waking up a bit earlier to take the dogs out. This requires a trip down the elevator from the 5^th floor to the 1^st floor…across the courtyard and out to an empty sand lot.  On this particular Monday, I did my usual routine but basically I ran out of time.  (I’m queen of, “let me do just 1 more thing!)

I started walking down the block and saw the bus pass in front of me as I approached the corner. FU$K! Shit!

Unfortunately this has happened to a few teachers and your next means of transportation is taking a cab for 200 Dhs (about 25$). I thought, Hell No!!! I’m getting this bus!

I picked up the pace and hailed a cab…quickest I ever have.

I jumped in and basically start pointing and using my hands in a very fast motion. Pointing and yelling and saying “go, go, go…. faster, faster, rapido, andele”…. (I told you I switch to Spanish when I’m nervous). He kind of understands me, and then I shout ‘auto-bus’ and make this Brrrrr…sound like I’m 2 years old saying what a bus says. Lol

He now begins to understand me, and is slowly gaining on the big bus. As we approach the stoplight, I gather my stuff and my plan was to pray for a red light, jump out, knock on the door, and jump on.  

It WAS red!

So I gather my stuff and throw coins on the seat.

I maneuver between the cars and cabs…. Knock on the big glass door, give half smile to the bus driver, as he is now giving me a peculiar look, lol.

It seems he remembers me, and is only puzzled because I’m standing outside the bus in the middle of the street rather than being on the bus.

He opens the door; I hop on and quickly find a seat.

Was I noticed?

There are about 30 teachers and Moroccan assistants who take the bus daily.

As I bury my head into my cell phone, and act like it never happened, I realize the bus has stopped again. I look up to find the cab driver standing in front of me ON the bus asking for money. WTF? I tried to explain I threw it on the seat.

OMG…I had to get off the bus and show him!

So now if someone didn’t see me get on the first time, they certainly did now.

Fast forward 1 week….small comments were made by several teachers randomly as I saw them in the hallways and faculty room. “Smooth move jumping on the bus like that, I would have never attemped it”….

“You must be from NY, you acted so natural jumping out of a cab and onto a bus” etc.

Lol…this made me laugh. 

Made me realize I do do crazy things….but hey, that’s me.

I'm quick on my feet, and I'll be damned paying for a cab to take me all the way to school! :) 

Happy Birthday Julie!

It’s January 24th. Today is Julie’s birthday. It's not an easy day for me anymore. Not when your younger sister has passed away. She would have been 39 years old. 

As the last 3 years have past I often reflect on how losing a sister  has impacted me, both in a negative and positive way (not that anything is positive about it…but how I can I bring about positive change out of a negative situation). 

While the tears have flown less, thankfully, the hole in my heart remains. A young, healthy, mother of 2 small boys was told after a routine physical (2 days after her birthday ironically) “you have a very aggressive leukemia.” “You must get to a hospital immediately.” 

Her words "But I feel fine!"

"I have to go to work on Monday."

I do know this…and may have mentioned it before, but worth reflecting on. I would NOT be here in Africa teaching if she were still alive. I can say this with 90% certainty. 

Why? She was the sister I was closest to, and felt an incredible loss after she past. I realized at that time I lost a best friend as well. How lucky am I to even have had that?…I found out afterward. 

I wouldn't have left because I would have missed her too much. I would have missed being with her and the kids, and all the things we planned to do together. 

We were those kinda sisters who would watch shows together on the phone…Amercian Idol, Biggest Loser etc. And when the really good parts would come on, we would say "call me back on the commercial." lol

We were the kind of sisters who said "lets have babies at the same"….lol

Funny how life turns out. 

She had 2….and is not here to raise them. 

I have none….and here to see them grow into beautiful kids. 

During the almost 3 years she battled, she taught me to fight fears, hold your head up high despite your circumstances, and let the small things go. I watched her to do this while fighting a horrible disease that slowly consumed her body, but never her spirit.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Julie! 

You continue to inspire me and when I think things are getting rough, I often think of you.

I think about the special conversations we were able to have, and how lucky I am to have had you in my life! 

And the best part of it all….is that I know you are here….with me…guiding me through this new journey in my life….something I'm loving and never expected to do. 

6 Months?.. Six Months! How'd that Happen?

1/2 a Year Already living in Africa! 

So I am 1/4 way through my contract. Time is going by very quickly. So much to see and do still! At the end of this month we have our two week spring vacation. I will be traveling to Paris for 1 week and for the 2nd week taking a week long road trip through northern Morocco....renting a car and all. Let the good times roll! (I miss driving) Although the traffic is Crazy here…I guess it's nothing a NY girl can't handle. I just don't know about the horses and donkeys….that'll be the tricky part. Details to follow. 

So it's obvious the US and NY had a Horrible winter! And truth be told I don't miss it one bit! Morocco has four seasons as we do, but it doesn't feel the same because of where we are located near the mountains. Marrakech has an arid climate with blistering hot summers and  cool winters. This city gets the coldest in winter and the hottest in the summer because of its location (2hrs from the coast). 
Winter here was colder than I expected. At night the temp drops dramatically. Even though the average temps were in the 50's my blood must be changing. There were days I came home from work and did what I used to do back home; immediately take a long hot shower! Weekly hamams definitely helped with this this. See! Another benefit to my addiction. What I have found most interesting is the amount of clothing that the Moroccan people wear. For example, it is very typical for Moroccan men and women to be wearing 2 pairs of pants! 
How do I know this you are probably wondering? 
Well, once I found out from a reliable source, I simple started asking other Moroccans that I knew and felt comfortable asking. I'm not the shy type. lol  And just found it quite funny. Anyway…they layer up for sure! And mind you it never hits freezing, or snows here in Marrakech. 

Speaking of snow…and it since it's winter…a bunch of teachers from the school decided on a trip to the mountains. 

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, when she comes….

We took a trip to Oukaimeden Mountain…. Africa's Highest Ski Resort.

Early rise…Annie sleeping on the drive.

Youssef driving…are his eyes even open?

Lexi….VERY excited in the back!

Stopped for special berries….I forgot the name.
Shit…I gotta write this stuff down. I will never remember! I do remember they tasted like raspberries but not sweet. lol

Berber Village

Where I'm coming from…..where I'm going….it's less than a 2 hour drive.

It was Youssef's 1st time touching snow. So crazy to me.

It was a pretty drive, but Very windy roads.

Beautiful views

Breakfast Tagines

…almost there….stopped for pics and food.

 Berber Breakfast~ I have eaten more olives in the past 6 months than ever…but I love olives. 

So here we are…I think.

Those lines are ski runs...

Getting closer and realizing it's not what I pictured in my head…..lol

OMG! This was hilarious! Nobody could figure out how to park the cars…fights…people yelling etc.

Me and Annie almost took over the whole place and parking lot…but then thought, its best to just watch these grown men try and figure it out. The lack of order here drives me Batty!!!! lol

I chose not to ski because of the ankle. Its healed, but why take a chance on crappy slopes. (still a little nervous…and don't want something to happen)…I will wait for something better. :)
It also turns out you can just walk on the slopes! And kids were sledding in the same place where you were to ski. Yup….no order here. lol
There was no rental shop, but rather men on the side of the road renting ski's to you. They were of all different shapes and sizes. No papers to fill out, they don't ask your weight for proper fitting, just give them Dirham and off you go. Some of the girls skied and said the runs were tough because the machine broke down to smooth out the snow. Not surprised at this point in the game.

The sun was shining, I bought organic honey from a man on the side of the road, had a great lunch outside, and with the strong African sun it didn't feel like we were in the mountains.
It was a great day!
Oh yeah….I bumped into my ortho doctor that I had seen a few times when I first got here in Marrakech. He speaks a little bit of English and said "no ski"…I smiled and said "yes, no ski"….I will wait for next year!

Couldn't help it...

Youssef taking in the snow scene.

This cracked me up. They turned old bikes into sleds for the kids.

Building Frosty

Annie got pretty serious making this…lol

Great day in the mountains!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/snowandski/3446834/Oukaimeden-In-Morocco-the-skis-the-limit.html

Back to Marrakech….

Flowers delivered…just because. <3

This was a funny story. I was home in my apartment and got a call from Youssef to look outside my door. I didn't see anything. I texted him and told him…he then told me to go down to security.
When I got down there and opened the gate, I see security and one of the Scottish teachers holding a pot of flowers trying to communicate with each other. They looked confused.
He says to me "Don't know where these came from….found them at 'me door"….
"Let me see the card, I said….Yup these are for me thank you"…..lol
As I take them from his hands…somewhat embarrassed.
He says "oh good, cause I thought someone brought them to 'me wife…cause I didn't"…..lol

OMG, Sooooo….he probably read the card. I never asked him….and if he did…well, he now knows a few things. lol…
There is no 1-800 Flowers here.
It turns out Youssef brought them to the apartment and told security to deliver to 20B…and the guy went to 20E instead.
Embarrassing moment #7 at least…
But getting flowers unexpectedly always makes a girl feel good. :)

It was my turn. Did I pay attention?
I did! It came out fantastic! Very proud of myself.

Working on a mural/collage….step 1 complete.

Do you something? It was unintentional...

Do you see something else? Also, completely unintentional. lol

So I thought….could I make a scrambled egg and veggie tagine?
Yes, I can!
So yummy!

Finster Chillin

My little Prince Sammi~

Menara Garden

We had a nice day walking around. The view of the mountains is still such a sight to see! Gorg!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menara_gardens

Me & Youssef (stands for Joseph in English)

Same expression on their faces~

Sitting by window light~

Sammi's first camel ride

Chillin in the medina

This is not chocolate but mashed up almonds that make a paste sorta….again, forgot the name! :(
And the tea translates to "brother of eggplant'
It is a spicy tea….warms the body. I like it….not everyone does.

It's Valentine's Day!
AND I have a Valentine!
Yes, they sorta celebrate it!
Not as commercialized as the states, but what ever is.

It was only 6 months ago I was unexpectedly lying in a hospital bed after an emergency ankle surgery, just days before I was suppose to leave for my life abroad.
I was told I have some sort of infection, and until they find out what it is, they need to keep me.

Round the clock IVs, lots of tears of frustration, begging them to let me go, and after 5 days, I was sent home on more IVs I had to do all by myself.
I remember the stern voices of the doctors saying "we don't' care about your job abroad, our job is to make sure you get healthy"……

With SO much uncertainty during those 5 days,
If someone were to tell me then…"in 6 months you will be walking better than ever, pain free, and in love with a Moroccan man"….I would have never, ever believed it.

So what does that mean? What did I learn?
Besides the reconfirmation of my stubbornness to stick to a plan…. lol
The same thing we ALL know, but we forget. We are not in control of our future as much as we think we are. The Universe has bigger plans for us….and that it will be revealed in the perfect time.
In the time that is right….not the time that "I" want it.

I had an exceptional Valentine's Day, it's been a lil while... and feel so grateful.

So where will I be 6 months from now?
It will be summer. Will I end up in a villa in Spain or Turkey where I plan?
These things used to bother me so much back home….I now find a certain kind of comfort and excitement not knowing….not knowing at all.
Because what I do know, is that there are good days ahead. And even when there are bad ones in between, I know for sure….there will be even better ones to follow….better than I ever could have expected!
And that is the best feeling in the world!

So it's still Valentines Day, and I was told by an expat I met, that there was a blood drive going on.
Not just any old blood drive, but one for Leukemia. What?!!!! Right here in the town I'm living in?
Yup, right around the corner at the language center.
I couldn't believe it. How I think of Julie so often…and Valentine's Day is no different.
As sisters we would call each other to wish one another Happy Valentine's Day and find out what we had planned for the evening. She would have her kids call me, and we would exchange cards and candy.
Well, she can't call me…..but she CAN call on me to help others who are suffering from a disease that took her life.
The blood drive was only going on until 6:30pm. I was stuck in traffic because I had other errands to run and got there at 6:15. The man said "I'm sorry, we can't take anymore people"…..
WHAT? NO!!! I MUST!

"Please sir, my sister died from this disease I need to do this"…my eyes starting filling with tears.
In that moment, I felt like I would be letting her down if I didn't. You see, I used to donate, and have donated platelets as well in her memory.
I would do it on the anniversary of her passing, or her birthday.
I knew by coming to live in Africa, it would mean upon my return I could not donate for at least a year, if not two!
I can't explain it. But because my blood/marrow didn't match hers enough to save her life I feel compelled to help someone else. The feeling of helplessness at that time was almost too big to bear.
So, me donating ON Valentine's Day, right around the corner from where I lived, to help children with the SAME disease my sister had, was a sign.
Julie was here. She was thinking of me too!

Me donating and staring to make sure the needle is clean!

Miss you Jul! One day there will be a cure! I will continue to donate, raise money, and awareness always and always!!!! <3

 Hanging around an art exhibit!

February was full of fun and laughter….
Marching into spring.
Reminding myself…to stay Mindful in Morocco.